


Serene Turbulence

by nonky



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 07:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11573328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Their most memorable fights took her off guard, giving her no dark pleasure in watching him get upset. Lee's even temper made her worry sometimes he really didn't mind her careless actions. His shouting reproaches gave her hope she mattered to him above looking out for one of his pilots.





	Serene Turbulence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lanalucy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanalucy/gifts).



Kara knew people thought she started fights with Lee most of the time, and generally with intent. She appreciated the low standard of behaviour, but it wasn't the case. Sometimes they both started the fight, others one of them said something that wasn't meant to touch a raw nerve. Their read on one another wasn't flawless, and harmless ribbing turned nasty under stress.

Their most memorable fights took her off guard, giving her no dark pleasure in watching him get upset. Lee's even temper made her worry sometimes he really didn't mind her careless actions. His shouting reproaches gave her hope she mattered to him above looking out for one of his pilots. 

Still, sometimes she was simply happy instead of smug, and eager to tell him good news. Her flight instructor superstitions had finally loosened to let her see the nuggets clearly. The wash-outs were already gone, and the keepers were doing well. Starbuck didn't want to train serviceable pilots. She wanted to find her Top Gun. 

It had been Kat from the beginning, but no one needed a bigger ego than God. Kara had deliberately been unimpressed by everything Kat did for a full month before she was content it was skill and not luck. She had escalated maneuvers over and over, and Kat managed and learned to make it effortless. 

When Kara went to Lee, sat next to him with her own meal tray and bumped his shoulder she'd been proud of herself and her nuggets. The fleet needed to have gutsy flyers and she'd made one from a beginner. It was thrilling to have something go right. 

"Give Kat another month and she can take over for me," she said. "She's great on the stick, good feel for the birds and no one is going to stop her getting better. Her shooting still needs a little work, but I held her back with the rest until I knew they could all aim without squinting their eyes shut."

His stiff expression cracked into a rage, and Lee stood up with force that rocked the table. The water glass in his hand winged her as he flung it down, the plastic rattling instead of smashing. Lee got her by the arm and jerked her up, his face up in hers before she was standing. Her nose actually mashed his cheek painfully, but neither of them reacted. 

"And where the frak do you think you're going Lieutenant? Off on another secret mission?! Big plans taking you away from your duties? I'm sure we can find plenty of pilots who will go AWOL when we really need them," he snarled. 

"I didn't mean-" She was startled when he shook her, forgetting to put up her own arms and defend herself. Kara should be knocking him out, and she was hanging off him limply.

"You never mean it, Kara. You say a lot of things and you never mean any of them. You want to think you're training your replacement? You might be, but that doesn't get you off any hooks. You're my top pilot and until you can't fly anymore you always will be."

His face was red and this wasn't an act. He was this angry at her. All she had wanted was to brag about her nuggets. Lee was acting as if she'd come in and thrown her wings down. Kara could feel people staring, her feet sliding as Lee breathed like he'd spit fire. 

"I kn-" She tried to calm him. Her arms were hurting and she reached out to put her own hands on his chest. Lee hauled at her, perhaps feeling a few people slowly rising from their seats. He was too hot to be stopped now, and she didn't try again.

"Shut the frak up. You don't come to me - happy - and tell me you're not doing your job anymore. Not because you die, not because you have shiny new pilots and not because of anything else. You're my pilot, and this fight is not done."

He fisted the patch on her shoulder, crumpling it and dragging her to one side. Kara had to hold on to keep her balance, her legs hemmed in between the table and the bench seat. Most things didn't embarrass her anymore, but this was a full show with dinner. She couldn't imagine what people would say after this. Lee wasn't being careful about what he said. Some of the things he knew about her were her deepest secrets. 

"You want to go find your pyramid player and have babies? Not until I'm done with you. You want to step back, go civilian? I'll start a draft and have you back here inside a week. You want to drink and frak up until you're almost more trouble than you're worth? I can take it. There is no version of you that is not mine. You don't get to leave me."

She bristled, braced for another spewing of anger. Lee had apparently been saving it up for a while. He dropped her and she swayed, unaware she'd been essentially embracing him as he shouted in her face. He stepped over the bench and walked away, glaring down anyone too slow to hide their faces. 

Kara didn't know what to do, so she sat down as if she'd be able to eat. Every second she waited defused the room, forcing people to breathe easier. If someone had called the Marines they must have also called them off. No one came over to ask if she was okay. 

Five minutes passed and she felt more and more people smoothing over the disruption with inane conversations. She waited until it was unbearable to stay, and piled her tray on top of Lee's. Kara leaned back and nipped the cup off the floor. She put the trays away quickly and walked out. 

She couldn't go to quarters. Lee might be on the flight deck or the observation deck. He didn't work out this time of day, but he'd obviously needed to hit something. If she went to the gym and ran into him again it was going to be nasty. Her pride was recovered, replies for all his judgements coming to mind faster than she'd have been able to say them. 

Kara decided to try one of the smaller rec rooms. She needed a drink and joining a card game would be a distraction. She turned a corner and stopped short, jumping back as Lee put his hands out to catch her stumble. 

"I don't need help," she said tightly. 

He was pale now, his face contrite and suffering. Lee sighed, and backed away. He let his arms hang and looked at her, trying to gaze an apology at her.

"Lee, it's fine," she said impatiently. "I'm not hurt, people got their jollies and no one is leaving. I've yelled at you plenty of times. I'm over it."

"I'm not," he said firmly. "I'm sorry I lost my temper, but you can't - I need to know you want to stay and if something gets in the way you'll fight like hell. It can't be fine. You have to be as outraged as I am about anything dragging you away."

He'd been the one dragging on her, but Kara knew what he meant. It was a fine edge to admit the potential for death without giving up to it under adversity. She nodded. 

"I don't want to go. I'm not cut out to live every day fearing it, either," she told him. "I can't think too hard about that stuff."

Lee looked tired, and he clenched his fists. "Well I can't stop thinking about that stuff."

Kara shrugged in an exaggerated gesture she turned into a yawn. "I can't help you with your CAG neuroses, sir. All I can do is train good pilots and one great one," she said. 

His body relaxed, mouth summoning a tiny curve upward. "So you're finally going to ease up on Kat?"

She shook her head. "Oh, no! I have to be twice as mean. That girl is not getting a speck of praise until she can damn well make the sky and then fly circles around me."

Lee chuckled. "God 2?" 

They fell into step, heading toward the flight deck. The nuggets were running CAPS together, without senior pilots. She wanted to make sure Chief Tyrol wasn't having any trouble with them. 

"At least a substitute teacher for the next set of nuggets," Kara suggested. "But don't tell Kat yet. I think she's excelling mostly out of spite. I need to get her close flying fine-tuned."


End file.
